Columbia's only locally owned alt weekly

Willie Nelson is “on the road again,”
spending
next month touring the East Coast with Asleep at the Wheel and
their new
album of Western Swing. Austin’s own Bismeaux Records releases Willie
and
the Wheel this coming Tuesday, an album that the late producer
Jerry Wexler
had been imagining for 30 years, now fully realized with his
hand-picked song
list. One selection, the 1927 instrumental favorite “South,” features
guests
Vince Gill and Paul Shaffer.

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Dear Midlands area advertising contacts,
Buying these jeans from you doesn’t really fit my business plan right
now, chief. Yeah, I know we went to school together and you’re
struggling in this economy and blah, blah, but I’m locked into a
contract with Dillard’s for another eight months. Plus, we’re trying to
get a “Best of” sticker for the door. And, bar/restaurant manager dude,
I just don’t think having dinner there is a wise investment for me at
this time. Hey, talk to regional, man! I appreciate what you’re trying
to do, but honestly, your decor offended my mother-in-law and I’ve
already spent all my beer money for this entire fiscal year. Sure, it’s
laughable to budget that way, but you think I have a business degree?
C’mon! How ‘bout you try me again in the fall during back to school?
Yeah, I know I’ve said that for four years. You gettin’ wise? (The
nerve a these fuckin’ guys! Hey, Paulie, you heard what this guy just
said?)

Columbia City Paper

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YOUR WAR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

On December 27, Israel attacked the Gaza Strip – a small coastal
enclave abutting Israel. Gaza is the very crowded home of 1.5 million
Palestinians.
As of January 15, 1,080 Palestinians have been killed in Gaza. 765 of
them were civilians. An additional 5,100 Palestinians have been wounded.
13 Israelis have been killed. Three of them were civilians. An additional 80 Israelis have been wounded.
The disparity in the number of casualties is largely the result of each side’s relative military strength.

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SATURDAY
JANUARY 31
 
Art Bar
The Queen Is Dead
Leisure

Headliners
Snapshots And Streetlights
The Decade
Aviary Fire
Veara
And Then There Was You   
Mac’s on Main
Natural Desire Band

New Brookland Tavern
O’Death
Pattern Is Movement
The Magnetic Flowers

Sudworks Taphouse
Harmony Groove

Utopia
Patti Ficken
Jody Creel
 
Wild Wing Café – Vista
Dock Martin

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Thursday Feb. 5, New Brookland Tavern 

Flo-town natives
Sequoyah Prep School promise to charm your pants off with mellow and
well-crafted –but still kinda rocking—tunes from their recently
released Ghost Town LP. (To say nothing of their older stuff.) This
show is on the home state leg of a semi national tour, so be sure to
catch these guys before the rest of the country discovers them and they
really blow up and stay on the road all year.

Dead Confederate Friday Feb 6 

Headliners
   You certainly can’t go wrong with the Vic Chestnut and Elf Power
show at the Art Bar on February 5th, but the pick this issues goes to
another Athens-based act, Dead Confederate.  This alt-country meets
grunge band is worth the price of admission.  Fans like to say they
sound like My Morning Jacket meets Nirvana.  I could blather on, but
it’s an apt comparison.
-Bryan Alexander   

Harptallica, Saturday, Feb. 7 –New Brookland Tavern 

Harptallica was founded in 2006 when Ashley Lancz Toman and Patricia Kline, two students at the Eastman School of Music in New York State, decided to arrange Metallica’s “Fade to Black” for two harps. Two years later, the girls have recorded a cover album and play gigs across the country.
Metal purists may bristle at the fact that Toman first heard of Metallica during a music theory class in college. And the two definitely have the look of band geeks turned metal. Still the arrangements are well done and the show promises to be fun, if only because it’s not something you’re likely to hear everyday. Harptallica also gains brownie points in my book for focusing on older Metallica fare. There’s lots of stuff from Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets. (“Orion” actually sounds pretty cool on a harp. I’ve heard they do “Battery,” too.)
So, uh, get ready to chug some white wine spritzers and mingle! Whoo!!
Harpist Mollie Marcuson is slated to fill in for Kline during the January and February leg of the tour.

For the entire New Brookland Tavern schedule visit newbrooklandtavern.com  

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     Peace & Blessings!!!  The Holiday Season is over and people are
becoming more and more impatient with this world.  It’s crazy how when
you set goals, have dreams, and designs for yourself…it takes those
around you years to catch up.  I’ll tell you like this, f*ck the hate,
the negativity, the disbelief, the doubt, and fear people try to place
on you.  Remain faithful & focused on working your plan.  Day in,
Day out, you have to look at yourself in the mirror.  Remember
that….Let’s get to it!!

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Some of Columbia’s most successful and well-known artists have come
together to present their new work to the public. The Ninth Annual
Winter Exhibition opened Friday, Jan. 23 at Gallery 80808 with
participating artists Stephen Chesley, Mike Williams, Edward Wimberly,
and David Yaghjian. This year’s exhibit will feature oil and acrylic
paintings, drawings and sculpture.

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I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can�t come
unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She�s asked me to let her use it
during sex or for me to use it on her, but I�ve refused. It�s bad
enough knowing I can�t compete with that thing without having to look
at it.

Let�s Insert My Prick

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http://www.flickr.com/apps/slideshow/show.swf?v=63961

By Bryan Alexander

Photo’s by Brittany Barton 

�There will be 4 hour waits for the Metro starting at 4
a.m.� one friend said. Ã¢ï¿½ï¿½The traffic is already getting bad in the DC
area,� warned another.  �There are already lines several hours long at the
Metro stops for tickets.�  Etc. Perhaps it was the contrarian in me (I
didn’t vote for Obama �or McCain for that matter�but was still going to the
inauguration) but I took this as a good sign.  Such stories typically
scare many people away from an event, and I was determined to be proved
right.  Unfortunately, my roommates started to get nervous, so we left the
evening before the inauguration to travel to DC. 

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Letters to the reader 

Dear Southern literature stereotype,
    From the porch I can still see Deddy spreadkneed and a-workin’ the
soil of that burnt up patch of land like the generations of my kin duly
passed. Out thar in his good church shoes. He’d fussed a right piece
this morn’ cause he couldn’t find his work boots. And finally he’d made
his way, headhung, on out across the yard past the great magnolia where
Essie Lee lay buried, his Sunday shoes gleaming in the light and
sounding clack, clack, clack across the gravel road to the family
fields.
   But how do I tell him what I seen? How do I tell him that the dawg
he won in a turkey shoot ain’t right? How old Duke broke his rope
yestday evenin’ as if the Devil hisself took holt of him and struck out
past the thicket that blooms them berries Mama bakes into pies in the
spring. Deddy ain’t seen Duke dragging his back end in the yard,
pulling hisself by the legs afront with a bootlace hanging from his
behind as if he’d growd a second tail. And it was then that I knew what
became a them boots beloved, that Duke had ate ‘em, by God! And sweet
Deddy out thar a-workin in his church shoes, them ruint now too, on his
knees as if searching for a thing forever lost to him.

Columbia City Paper

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