Tiki tu madre
by ccp on Jan.14, 2009, under Commentary
Dear Mexican: I’m a Spanish teacher. I’ve been hearing my students say a phrase, and I am unsure what it means (if it truly means anything, which they swear it does). They say it’s a Mexican saying: Tiki tu madre. I don’t know what “tiki†means. So, I was wondering if you could shed some light on the subject for me.
Maestra de Español
Dear Teacher: Chula, your students están chingando contigo—that is to
say, they’re fucking with you. The only “tikis†that ever cross a
Mexican’s mind are the former New York Giants running back or the
Polynesian-themed decorative style. When your estudiantes say their
phrase, they’re obviously meaning “Chinga tu madre,†which translates
as “Go fuck your mother†and is Mexico’s greatest contribution to the
world’s repository of curse words after pinche puto pendejo baboso. But
don’t go off giving your li’l scholars detention slips or bad
grades—indeed, congratulate them on practicing grammatical
sleight-of-mouth. They practiced a form of what linguists call a
cryptolect, a secret language used by a subgroup to communicate with
one another while keeping outsiders clueless. Mexican society features
many such cants, whether whistled languages, the caló argot used by
pachucos during the 1940s, or whatever it is Carlos Mencia bellows
about.
A lot of gabachos, including myself, are learning how to salsa dance
and getting pretty good at it. What’s your take on gabachos going to
Latin dance clubs and tearing up the dance floor? In general, are
Mexicans okay with this? Or should we gabachos just stick to line
dancing, or not dancing at all?
The Barbarian of Rhythm
Dear Gabacho: We don’t care—salsa music ain’t Mexican, and nothing is
sexier than stealing a gabachita from a lead-footed white boy with our
moves. Actually, our feelings get hurt: Why do you give so much love to
tropical music, yet ignore our polka-based conjunto norteño (the type
of music with accordions) and banda sinaloense (the one with tubas)? Do
you dare rock waltz and polka steps like we do? They’re not that
difficult—just ask your grandparents to tune in to The Lawrence Welk
Show, and tell them not to hate Mexicans, m’kay?
I worked with and employed about a dozen Mexicans in my last job. We
had many great discussions about Mexican and white cultures. I was
always puzzled by the relationship these guys had with their
“compadres,†in which they relied totally upon them for information on
subjects they knew almost nothing about. I was always puzzled as to why
they turned to people who knew little more than they did. I never saw
this in any other culture. Is this something that is common in the
Mexican culture, or was it unique to these guys?
No Buddy System for Me
Dear Gabacho: Any amateur anthropologist worth her weight in The
Children of Sanchez copies found at used bookstores knows that the
compadrazgo system in Mexican culture goes beyond serving as the
godparent of a child for any number of Catholic sacraments.
Traditionally, compadres took an active role in the upbringing of
ahijados, serving as a support system for the parents of their
godchildren. It’s a practice with roots in European Catholicism, but
Mexico being Mexico, we expanded the term and concept to include any
close friend in our extended family. What’s so wrong with relying on
others for help, No Buddy System? Frankly, Mexicans are way ahead of
gabachos in this Great Recession because while gabachos wait on
President-Elect Barack Obama to bail them out, Mexicans easily plug
into their compadre system for everything: fresh produce, money,
shelter, or a hollowed-out Chevy Suburban in which to sneak in that
last batch of cousins.
Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net
What are the major characteristics of the Mexican sense of humor?
Yearning for Yucks
Dear Gabacho: Self-deprecation. Boobs. Puns. Double-entendres. And midgets—many, many midgets.
Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net










March 31st, 2010 on 8:44 am
Hello,
I am Mexican and I fucking hate Salsa music. It frustrates me that people think that Salsa music some how has to do with Mexicans. Most Mexicans hate that shit. We listen to Jose Alfredo Jimenez, Vicente Fernandez, Jorge Negrete, Antonio Aguilar, puras rancheras o grupos like Los Tigres del norte, Conjunto Primavera. Good music none of that sappy Salsa music. To top it off I married a white girl and she wants to go Salsa dancing. I can dance it, but I hate that fucking music. I get so pissed off at my wife for trying to make me go to those damn salsa clubs. I told her that she should’ve married a person from South America or Puerto Rico or any other country in which that like that shit. I hate it with a passion. Its just a bunch of pussies crying about dumb shit with a horrible beat.