Columbia City Paper

From The Make Me a F#!king Columnist Guy

Back in the U.S.S.A

Columbia City Paper is dead! Take a look around. Ted Rall rails against
Obama. The publishers are now calling themselves “moderate.” And that
black chick on the You Tube vid still hasn’t gotten her car full of gas
or her mortgage paid. Wow! I kind of feel justified in filling in that
circle for McCain. (I thought hard for about three seconds before
realizing, “Wait a second… I’m not a socialist!”) You got what you
wanted, Obama voters. This man has single handedly saddled us (and our
kids, and their kids, and their kids) with a trillion dollar debt that
will eventually lead us down the road to becoming exactly what our
father’s fathers feared: socialists.
Here’s the series of events: Obama bails out everybody through this
insane stimulus bill. Because the banks will not be able to pay back
the cash –or because of the enormity of the problem—the government will
assume control of the banks and nationalize our entire economy. Then,
with control of the money, employment comes next. Businesses will no
longer come to banks for loans. The Federal Bank will be the only
lending institution (there goes my idea of starting a store that sells
condoms made out of sandpaper). So, with the government controlling all
banking, all cash is completely accounted for per the government.

Now, education is already controlled by government. Any institution that doesn’t play by the rules loses it’s funding. We all become mindless government tools –I believe the term is “useful idiots.” Private schools are government competition and therefore guilty of treason. Beyond that, health care is next.
Doctors go to school for eight or more years to learn a very difficult and specific skill. They expect to be paid accordingly. Nationalized health care means that the taxpayers are paying for Sally to go have an operation to go from Sally to Seth. The doctors will have so many patients, the quality of care goes down. Of course, the government can’t afford to pay every doctor $200,000 or more a year, so they say, “You are all now government employees and will be paid $35,000 a year, regardless.” Fewer people go to medical school, the institutions that teach medicine will lose competent instructors, standards for medical practitioners go down and now you have six month long waits to see a doctor for a broken arm.
With no offense to Third World nations, this sounds like a Third World nation! So our education, health care, and money are completely controlled by the government. With this scenario, innovation falls to nil, as there is no point; the government will take care of innovation. Of course by then, the government is so bloated that nothing gets done efficiently (not that it does now), and the people learn to live with it. This destroys the human spirit, not just the American spirit.
Now, you can say, “take off your tinfoil hat, that could never happen here,” but I’m sure people living in communist Russia never said, “Hey, I like living under totalitarian rule. Let’s keep doing it!” Fact is, these types of things happen slowly. Obama’s million dollar smile keeps the sheep all lined up for photo ops, but the reality is, the guy is an idiot who only knows how to read a teleprompter. And, that wonderful teleprompter reader has just issued me, you, your mom, your dad, your sister (and her girlfriend), and your brother a trillion dollar loan that is to be paid back. Where will that money come from? Not the local dildo shop. Not the local bar. It will come from your paycheck. Of course this is after the generous $13 per check “tax cut” is considered. Guess what I’m going to do with mine? I’m going to Wendy’s, I’m going to order a Number Three (only ketchup, Coke with no ice) …and I’m gonna’ Biggie-size that motherfucker!
-Andrew Rusnak

I was impressed reading your conservation column in the February 26 edition [Vol. 4, Issue 14, “Conservation Hot List,” provided by Conservation Voters of S.C.]. As a t-shooter, I would like to give away my few points:
1. Introduction from Basic Electricity: Energy (measured in kWh) = Power (in kW) * (multiplied by or times) time (in hours).
2. An example of calculations: An electrical heater with rated power of 1 kW will convert in one hour the 1 kWh to the heat. Check it out.
3.  Your “eight million megawatts of energy” has errors; megawatts in school’s books must be noted as MW (and MW is a unit of power not energy).
4. If this number equals 8,000,000 then MW—if it would apply to power—seems too big. Just compare it to the SCE&G nuclear project for two reactors that should produce 2 * 1134 MW. 8,000,000 MW / 1,134 MW per reactor = 7,054 reactors. Is this number real?
5. Let me reconfigure 8,000,000 to apply to energy (so maybe the unit should be MWh, where 1 MWh  = 1 000 kWh). Again: 8,000,000 MWh / 500,000 homes = 16 MWh per home.  To be formally correct, it should also be stated for what kind of time period: day, month, year? It seems the year (annual demand) is correct.
Other numbers should give a proper image of the problem’s weight.

Your friend,
Joe the Electrician
Columbia

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